I apologize in advance for the type-os and weird links in this post... our computer is not working, so I had to post this from an iPad.
I don’t typically engage in controversial issues like this, particularly not in a public forum like this blog, but I feel compelled to work through my thoughts on how to approach such topics in a venue that may help others do the same. I am writing primarily to fellow Christians, but hope that this might also show non-Christians what some of us believe, especially about how issues should be approached and discussed.
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There were many applicable verses that I read in 1 Peter 3, but the one that stood out the most to me was in verse 15 where it says, “Always be prepared to make a defense to anyone who ask you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect.”
Note that it doesn’t say, “always give a defense for your political views,” “always expect non-believers to understand your Christian perspective,” “always be willing to fight to the death over your moral beliefs,” or even, “always defend scripture… to the point of offending others and harming relationships with non-believers.”
It seems to me that in many ways, we (as Christians) have missed the mark and have focused on winning the argument. Winning a debate was never Jesus’ goal when he was on earth – though he did “win” some deliberations with the Pharisees, his focus was loving people through relationships.
The “hope that is in you” is salvation through Jesus Christ… that’s it. No law or rule gives me reason to live or be hopeful – just Jesus. And I’m even supposed to defend him in an inoffensive manner - with gentleness and respect. Honestly, that seems contradictory to much of what I see in practice from Christians, and even what I sometimes engage in myself.
God's Word doesn't need me to defend and debate every verse in it. Scripture and the gospel are there for everyone, and each individual can decide for themselves what they will do with it. I believe that all scripture is from God, however, the only thing that I or any other believer can add is my personal journey of hope and salvation - my testimony about the core of scripture, which is Jesus Christ uniting me with God.
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As I pondered that passage, the compassion that Jesus showed the woman at the well (in John 4) sprang to mind. He was firm in what he said to her, but he was incredibly gentile and he didn’t condemn her. Their interaction was completely respectful on both sides, and would have been even if she had disagreed with him. Jesus’ emphasis was on hope, rebirth, and new life in him, not on what she had done.
(One difference between Jesus’ interaction with the woman at the well, and some of my interactions as a Christian in the post-modern world is that Jesus could appeal to the woman’s cultural moral center. She was a Jew, so he appealed to her Jewish upbringing and heritage, where adultery and promiscuity were sins. In our current culture, many people disagree on the moral views of Christianity, which I believe means that I must employ even more gentleness and respect when engaging with them.)
In 1 Corinthians 9, Paul says that he became all things to all people to win some to the gospel – to me, that implies not being abrasive or blatantly offending people, particularly over secondary issues. Christians should focus on relationships and what is actually important – salvation through Jesus Christ (it’s called good news for a reason!). Everything else is secondary.
It saddens me incredibly when a Christians think they can’t interact with non-believers because their beliefs are different, or because the non-believer is blatantly living in sin – of course they are! Why should I expect non-Christians to have Christian views or live by Christian moral principles? It’d be like me criticizing the swimming stroke of someone who was drowning… completely futile. Someone who knows how to swim and wants to improve might be assisted by some criticism of their technique, but the drowning person must agree to be taught to swim first, starting with the basics, before critique or advice means anything to them.
It seems to me that in 1 Peter and other places in scripture, the harsh rebukes are saved for those who should know better… God’s chosen people (the Jews) in the Old Testament, as well as Pharisees and those claiming to the Christians in the New Testament. For instance, contrast how Jesus interacts with the woman at the well against how he responds to the hypocrisy of the Pharisees (in Matthew 23 and elsewhere). Or compare how Paul pleads with the philosophers of Athens on Mars Hill (Acts 17) to how he rebukes the failings of the early church and even Peter (in Galatians and elsewhere). In the instance of Paul speaking to the philosophers about the “unknown god,” his focus wasn’t at all on correcting their views on individual issues – he could have easily chastised them for their ungodly living had he wanted to - but was instead completely on introducing them to the one true God in a context that was relevent to them.
The gospels remind us repeatedly that Jesus fellowshipped with “tax collectors and sinners” (Luke 15 and elsewhere). I don’t know much about Middle Eastern culture 2000 years ago, but I can’t imagine that if Jesus had preached the law with fire and brimstone in his interactions with “sinners” that he would have been invited over for dinner. He loved them for who they were, and drew them to himself by loving them unconditionally. Being around someone so loving and unselfish would gradually show that submitting to Christ is the most freeing thing you can do, but Jesus didn’t start by teaching submission. The issues with sin and law were entirely secondary, because the change of heart must come first.
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Sorry to get sort of preachy, but I wanted to give examples that back my conclusion. In light of those illustrations, the behavior of many modern Christians seems juxtaposed with scripture. The current focus on politics, defending scripture, and expecting non-believers to have a Biblical world view and moral compass, isn’t biblical. Sometimes it seems Christians are treated unfairly in the media or elsewhere, and I’m sure we are, but the other half of the time it is the conservatives and Christians who are incendiary and untoward in defending their views. Not much gentleness, respect, or “turning the other cheek” from what I observe at times.
In addition to creating "Chick-fil-a Appreciation Day," conservative Mike Huckabee said, "The Mayor of Boston says that he won't allow Chick-fil-a in Boston. Amazing that a mayor now has the power to stop commerce because he personally disagrees with the PERSONAL views of the CEO of a company," a quote that has been shared repeatedly on Facebook and Twitter... it makes sense, and to someone in the anti-gay marriage camp, it seems an obvious argument for freedom of speech.
But try to think about the situation from a different perspective… what if Dan Cathy, the CEO of Chick-fil-a, had instead said, "I don't believe that people of different races should be allowed to marry. I am a white man married to a white woman...” As a friend and brother-in-law to interracial couples, and hopefully the future father of a racially diverse family, I would be deeply upset that someone would use his powerful position to perpetuate that racist ideology. Even though I believe in free speech, and a person’s right to believe whatever they want, in this hypothetical, I would still think about his horribly offensive view every time I drove by one of his restaurants.
If you agreed with Mr. Cathy and were trying to convince me that your way of thinking was best (that inter-racial marriage is wrong), celebrating in support of his restaurant would not be an effective way to reach me, nor would posting about how it is his right to believe whatever he wants – on the contrary, it would drive me further from you, even though I concede the point on free speech. As Christians, is that what we want? I have friends who are gay... why would I want to alienate them, and essentially say that making a political/moral statement is more important than their feelings or friendship?
I’m playing devil’s advocate, and don’t necessarily believe that inter-racial marriage and gay marriage are in the same genre of issue. However, I can definitely see the parallels and understand why many people, consciously or unconsciously, view a stand against gay marriage as the same as racial discrimination.
And finally, on the other side, what if the CEO of a restaurant said, "I support gay marriage. My partner and I have been together for 20 years and I'm thankful for that…" That's a personal view, the same as Mr. Cathy’s views on biblical marriage, but would conservatives/Christians still be fighting for his freedom of speech? Would the same rules apply? Though probably not with the vitriol of the current media/blogosphere, I believe that many conservatives/Christians would respond to that statement with protests and boycotts. What does that say about us?
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For the most part, I don’t believe that corporations should not engage in moral discourse - leave that to individuals speaking as individuals (and yes, I do realize this is essentially what Mr. Cathy was doing when he answered questions posed to him). While I do agree with most of this article in the Atlantic - that it shouldn’t matter what the CEO of a fast food company believes and that a company's products and practices should dictate if we do business with them, not politics – that’s not easy in practice. I should still be able to enjoy my meal at a restaurant no matter the personal views of the corporate hierarchy, but I know that isn’t human nature. It is possible to ignore a view you disagree with (especially for milkshakes as tasty as Chick-fil-a’s), but it definitely isn’t always a reality. I can still appreciate that Tiger Woods is a fantastic golfer, but it is difficult to see him without thinking of his well-publicized indiscretions. That’s just the way humans operate.
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Dan Cathy had every right to say what he did, and Americans have every right to support, boycott, or protest those remarks… that’s not the issue. As a Christian, I’m just wondering if by publically supporting Chick-fil-a, we’re missing the mark. How does going to Chick-fil-a today advance the gospel? It doesn’t seem to me like the bold, sacrificial, at-all-costs type of love that Christ portrayed on the cross. Honestly, it seems a bit petty and unnecessarily offensive.
My point isn’t about gay marriage per se, though that is one of the most heart-wrenching issues that I think about as Christian. I have great sympathy and appreciate for people like Justin from the Gay Christian Network, who have wrestled with that issue in ways I can't even imagine, and have come down on one side of the argument or the other. I highly recommend reading this interview with him with some of his story and explanation for his beliefs – not so you can necessarily be convinced one way or the other, but just to realize that this is a heavy, contentious issue, even for people seeking to follow Christ.
I realize that homosexual relationships are condemned in the Bible, and I believe the Bible is the Word of God... but that doesn’t make it a simple issue. I won’t get into my beliefs here, because I’m woefully under qualified to speak upon the issue and I honestly don’t know what exactly I believe; you can revile me or applaud me for that honesty depending on your view, but again, that’s not the point. The only relevant question for Christians is, "Am I showing Christ's love to everyone and do my actions point others to Christ?" That love is what is supposed to set us apart, yet often it is Christians who appear to be the most unloving.
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If you're gay or straight or whatever, and I or any other Christian has offended you in how we've dealt with or discussed an issue, I sincerely apologize. While there are truths in the Bible that are unapologetically black and white, and I do believe in good/evil and right/wrong, I know that Christians, including myself, have been unnecessarily hateful and rude. Though I fail daily, I am striving to live like Jesus, and I don’t believe that he would have gone about loving the world by engaging passionately in political or moral debates. Though I can’t genuinely love in the way that he does, I want all people to find true satisfaction, contentment, and life in Christ, and because of that, I want to be respectful of others feelings and opinions.
I want to be willing to discuss contentious issues like this without yelling or insulting. I want to have friends that I disagree with, that challenge me to think from different perspectives. Though I definitely don’t agree with everything she writes, I appreciate Christian blogs like that of Rachel Held Evans because they foster an environment of discussion and education.
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Back to the verse that prompted all of this, I want to give a reason for the hope I have with gentleness and respect:
All of the true hope that I have is in Jesus, so that is the only thing that I should defend. I believe I'm a sinner, just like everyone else in the world, and I believe that I am saved by the grace of God. I don't have all of the answers, and don't understand many issues about God's will, or the way his world works, but I do know that God is there for me because I’ve experienced life with him. I am not particularly smart, so many people could probably trounce me in a debate about my faith, but that doesn’t mean that what I believe isn’t true. I believe that love is the most powerful thing that God has given the world and that though I fail and get distracted daily, my primary purpose is to love God and love others. And that’s it.
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I’m not trying to make anyone feel bad for what they did or didn’t do in support of chicken today… I just wanted to share something that has been weighing on my heart lately, and writing this blog helped me to process my thoughts. If you disagree or think I’m dead wrong, that’s fine. I’d love to discuss things with you, so just shoot me an email anytime.
Thanks, as always, for reading.
Cason
Good thoughts. First off, I commend you for a polite presentation. That is woefully missing in our country today. I think people going to support a franchise that has a history of being a positive influence in communities was fine. From what the news reports (mainstream), it was peaceful, not nastiness, etc. This organization has done tons of good across the board and it is appropriate for those who appreciate that to demonstrate it. Example: http://www.christianitytoday.com/thisisourcity/richmond/another-kind-of-christian-witness-at-chick-fil-a.html
ReplyDeleteOf course, due to the climate in our country people of all sides of the issue jumped on the opportunity to disparage those who disagree. I am 100% with you on the inappropriateness of Christians jumping in on the demagoging wagon that characterizes discourse in our nation. But that is very different than going to order a chicken sandwich (or better yet, a milkshake) from an organization that I appreciate.
Basically, our nation needs a collective chill pill and quit being nasty about those who disagree. I do wish Christians would lead the way.
Thanks for reading and responding, Uncle Jim. I very much agree that everyone needs to calm down about issues like this and understand that people can agree to disagree amiably. The main point I was trying to make echoes what you said about how Christians should be the ones leading the way with grace, by focusing on what is actually important - loving people to the gospel. I believe doing so would earn far more respect than staging rallies and banging the drum about freedom of speech, etc.
DeleteI also agree that Chick-fil-a seems to be a good company that does great work in many communities, and there is nothing wrong with people going to a restaurant to support/appreciate that. However, I guess the idea I was trying to get across is about the perception... because of this event, and the state of discourse you alluded to, Christians are (rightly or wrongly) viewed as intolerant and hateful. I could have exercised by freedom by going to support Chick-fil-a yesterday for any number of of reasons... because they have the tastiest milkshakes in the world, because I appreciate the work they do in the community, because I believe in Dan Cathy's right to freedom of speech, because I support a "biblical view" of marriage, because Wendy's is on the other side of the road, or because I hate gay people. No matter my motivation, if one of my pro-gay rights friends saw me at Chick-fil-a on rally day (or more likely saw my twit-'book-gram about being there), given the nature of this issue, they are likely going to assume I'm taking a hardline stance against them personally and that relationship will be damaged.
In 1 Corinthians 8, Paul said that he was willing to sacrifice his right to eat meat sacrificed to idols so he wouldn't hurt the potential faith of others, and elsewhere he implies that he'd do anything to further the gospel. Of course I have a right to go eat a chicken sandwich whenever I want and to support whatever causes I want, but if doing so pushes people that I love further from me and from Jesus, I'd never eat chicken again. Heck, I believe so strongly in the gospel that if cutting off my arm or even sacrificing my life would ensure people I care about would come to Christ, I'd do it in a heartbeat (and I believe you would too).
Sorry to get preachy again... I understand and appreciate your point about just wanting to show appreciation for a business, and also that some Christians are frustrated that by supporting their beliefs they are getting labeled as intolerant and spiteful. However, it seems to me that acting with grace, while tactfully refraining from entering the fray, are small inconveniences for maintaining positive relationships and potentially being able to engage in non-inflamatory discourse in the future.
Thanks again for responding - this issue is a great personal litmus test for how to handle political/moral/spiritual issues, and working through it had been greatly beneficial for me and others.
Come to Kentucky sometime soon!
Just because you're a nonbeliever does not mean you don't have a moral compass. I wish Christians could understand that nonbelievers still believe in things like love, hope, mercy, goodness, helping others, etc. Just because you're a nonbeliever does not make you evil. The backbone of my life is believing in the goodness of people and doing good and spreading love instead of hate. We still have morals.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous - Thank you so much for your post. I never meant to imply that non-believers don't have any moral compass - I'm very sorry if that is how my thoughts were interpreted. I was primarily trying to communicate that Christians shouldn't expect non-Christians to have the same moral base that they do. Many of the statements and arguments that Christians make are non-starters to someone who doesn't ascribe to the same Judeo-Christian beliefs, and contributes to Christians seeming intolerant and stubborn.
DeleteI definitely recognize basic inate morals in Christians and non-Christians alike, and as a believer, I credit that to God designing humans with truth and sense of right/wrong in their souls. Observing toddlers has fortified my belief that people naturally are selfish, but also that they inately know that selfish acts (like taking someone else's toy) are wrong. If you don't mind me asking, where do you think your moral compass comes from? An inate sense of right/wrong? From culture? I'm not meaning to pry, but am genuinely curious. Thanks!
My Sister shared your blog with me and I so appreciate your perspective. We would probably disagree about what the Bible says (or doesn't say) about homosexuality, but I do appreciate your attention to the parts of the bible that actually matter and your attitude and empathy towards those who don't subscribe to your belief system. I wish more Christians would speak out in the way that you have here.
ReplyDeleteA problem I have with many Christians is that there is no way to argue or debate with them, when instead of being seen as different I am seen as someone who needs to be saved. That because I have not found Christ yet, this is why I have my own (wrong) opinions. Even the most well-intentioned Christians can't seem to help but look down on others (often, I think, without realizing they are doing it).
ReplyDelete“Always be prepared to make a defense to anyone who ask you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect.” This is the exact opposite of the situation as it stands. The LGBT community is defending itself against hate attacks. The idea that someone has asked you to explain the hope that is in you is ridiculous. The Christian community, in this case, is the attacker.
"It’d be like me criticizing the swimming stroke of someone who was drowning..." I understand that this is an analogy, but it is an insulting one. To speak in the same vein, just because I'm not swimming how you swim does not mean I'm not swimming. The Christian community has a very hard time talking about anything that is "different" without implying that it is "wrong." I think a better analogy is, "It'd be like me criticizing a expressionist painter for not painting in a realistic way," because neither is wrong, just different.
"The harsh rebukes are saved for those who should know better..." Again, this is language stating that I, as a non-believer, simply don't know any better, which is insulting to my own moral compass and humanity. You could say, for example, "The harsh rebukes are saved for those in the faith."
"Being around someone so loving and unselfish would gradually show that submitting to Christ is the most freeing thing you can do." Basically you're saying, if I have a different religion or no religion, I am (of course) wrong, and that the main reason Christians act lovingly is to get more followers, which is actually pretty insulting to you.
"It is his right to believe whatever he wants." Why is it Mr. Cathy's right to believe whatever he wants, but as far as Christians are concerned, anyone who thinks differently from them does not have this same basic right? And the argument is rights. We are inundated by Christian views, telling us that we haven't found Christ yet so our feelings/beliefs don't matter as much and, worst case, that our beliefs need to be outlawed. You mention agreeing to disagree in your blog, but does this sound like agreeing to disagree? I'm more than willing to do this, it is Christians who insist on telling me that I am living incorrectly or missing something - that I as a person and not whole.
"In a different scenario, what if Mr. Cathy took it a step further and said, 'My personal belief is that homosexuals are second class citizens'..." This is exactly what he is saying.
"My point isn’t about gay marriage per se, though that is one of the most heart-wrenching issues that I think about as Christian." That you and other Christians place so much weight on your own opinion is insulting to the LGBT community. Your opinion as a Christian should have no bearing on this issue, not in the USA. Marriage is and has been a legal contract in the USA, not only a religious one. People of other religions, or no religions are allowed to be married by the state, so what does this even have to do with Christianity?
I know that we will not agree, that I will not sway you to abandon your faith, and you will never convince me to convert to yours. That is okay. But how do I begin to have a calm debate with someone who has pegged me as wrong from the get-go without even hearing my words, who belittles me and the morals I have spent a lifetime forging? Why should I be considered drowning because I am different? I can "swim" just fine.
I stop by this blog often and would like to address the comment above. I think that "morals" and "Christianity" are two unrelated things. I am a Christian and the vast majority of my family is not. Every person in my family is loving and kind. They are all law abiding people who genuinely care for the welfare of others. They do not steal or lie and are extremely respectable people.
ReplyDeleteI believe in Jesus. I believe he has left us his holy word as a compass to follow in order to serve him. Jesus knows that we experience true joy and peace when we follow him. So in a sense, Christian trade not living for themselves but living for God. Any deemed "good deed" comes from the desire to mirror Christ on earth. That's not to say Christians are perfect. People all fail. Some Christians fail horribly in public forums and cause big debates. Just liksonny other group alive. But nobody aside from Jesus is perfect. It doesn't matter who you are. What your religion is or what your sexual orientation is.
What I am trying to get across is that the difference in "morality" in a Christian and a nonbeliever is not who is more moral. Or who is right. It simply comes down to motive and purpose. Christians (again no one is perfect) live to be the hands and feet of Jesus. We are moral because Jesus was and we want to be like him. However, anyone can be a good person and equate it to a number of things. I'm sure you are a wonderful person, much like my agnostic family members. However, the important difference is that Christians use the bible as their "moral compass". We are simply doing our best to mirror what Jesus did. That is our reason and you are welcome to have yours. Im genuinly sure its a good ine. Good people are hard to come by, so instead of fighting over who is better we should just be thankful for those that seek to do good. Regardless of religious affiliation. We should also extend grace to any and ALL social groups or religious parties, acknowledging that no one is perfect and no one person or handful of people on Facebook can represent an entire group.
I hope this may clear some of this up for you. God is a loving God. He does not see me as any better than you. He wants us to follow him because he knows we will experience life to the fullest this way. He is not a god of harsh judgement, but of love. I would encourage you to ponder this view of our heavenly father who created all humans in his perfect image.