Update on the previous post:
While we were in holding and praying over Asher today, we received some devastating news. The birth father wants to care for his son, so contingent on a paternity test, Asher will be taken from us.
This is the second cataclysmic disappointment for us as far as adopting children in the last year and a half, so we're obviously questioning many things right now.
Thanks you for your continued prayers.
-Cason
You don't know me, I'm just some woman,who knew your uncle Pete W. at Wheaton, in an office in Georgia weeping with you and standing beside you in prayer. I'm amazed by you two, because clearly the Father has His hand on you both. I know it's not clear to you, but it's there.
ReplyDeleteYou can't fix this and you can't figure it out, and that's the hardest, darkest place to be. All I can tell you is to lay hold of the anchor of your hope (Heb 6:18-20), Who right this moment is mediating for you before the Father. The waves are crashing on your head and all around you, but hang on. They're all you can see and hear, but hang on. The waves will recede and winds will die down and, in the interim, you have me and the 40 women in my bible study lifting you both up. God bless you - Bev McBride
We have a mutual facebook friend and I saw a link to your blog today. We are in the process of an international adoption, and I cannot imagine the pain you are going through. I know the feeling of wanting so desperately to hold a little one of your own in your arms and wondering what God has planned. My heart is breaking for you and I don't even know the words to say to you right now. Please just know that you are not alone. I know that doesn't even begin to fill the void you are most certaintly feeling. But you are surrounded with prayer and God has his Angels watching over little Asher. All that comes to mind right now is the verse in James about trials.....Consider it pure joy my brothers when you face trial of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perserverance. Perserverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.
ReplyDeleteI do not believe the Lord expects you to be able to find joy in this struggle at this time. But remember that HIS plans are always better than our own. This is something I have written on a note in my office because I need that reminder every day. I believe in a way that this little boy will always be your son and requires your constant prayer. No matter what the outcome, I believe he needs you to pray for him and love him. Whatever that ends up looking like. I will continue to pray for you! And I am just so so sorry for this loss.
Praying....for two beautiful souls who opened their hands to the Lord and said use us. Praying for a young father who is having his world changed in ways he does not know. Praying for the sweet little child who is still being held by God's hands even as the earthly hands that have been holding him are changing. Praying that God would heal a wound that only He can-He who called you is faithful even when we are faithless. Love from a sister from Taylor University.
ReplyDeleteI saw your blog posted by a friend of a friend on facebook, and as my husband and I are in the middle of an international adoption, soon to be concurrent adoption process, my heart broke for you. I cannot imagine how you are feeling, but I do know that the Lord is faithful, even when we can't understand what He's doing. You can rest assured that you will be in my prayers, for the days ahead and for whatever comes next in God's plan for you.
ReplyDeleteCason and Colleen, our hearts break for you. Praying that you will feel the arms of a loving God and be assured of his presence. So sorry for your loss.
ReplyDeleteSeeing this on Facebook as I'm comforting close friends who went through the same thing just last week... Praying you will feel God's presence during this time. From a Taylor sister
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry for your loss. Praying for healing for you and for peace and comfort in the days ahead. Lately I've been reading the story of Job, who suffered so many earthly losses, and had the gumption to question God. In the end, he says to God, "I know that you can do all things; no plan of yours can be thwarted...surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know." Even in this day of scientific and technological advances, some things are hidden from human understanding. May you find hope and healing on this difficult journey.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for this heartache. My heart is breaking for you. For the winding road you are walking. I cannot imagine the struggles you are experiencing and I am praying that the Lord will be near to you. That He will be big and solid to hold you up, gentle and all-consuming to spread His love over you as you continue on. Each person wrapped up in this story is held in His steady hands. Praying peace for you.
ReplyDeleteHi Cason and Colleen, I work with Marti. You are all int thoughts and prayers.
ReplyDeleteCason and Colleen, Our love and prayers are with you during this incredibly difficult time. May the Lord bless you in ways you cannot even imagine in the days ahead.
ReplyDeleteI went to UF with Michelle. This just breaks my heart. I have to believe this happened for a reason. <3 you guys are in my thought.
ReplyDeleteFrom a Taylor alum-my heart breaks for you as I read your story. I cannot imagine the devastation you are experiencing. I pray that God will work in and heal your hearts and lives in ways that we cannot fathom.
ReplyDeleteThe Lord gives and the Lord takes away... Blessed be the name of the Lord. That's all I keep thinking. I'm so sorry Cason and Colleen. I have friends praying.. and we are praying for you both! Remember.. His strength is perfect.
ReplyDeleteHey Cason and Colleen, I know it's been quite awhile since being in touch with you guys around Taylor, but my wife Lindsey and I have been following everything going on with your adoption. We are so sorry for what has happened and what you are being forced to give up. We cannot even begin to imagine what you two much be going through right now. I just wanted to let you guys know that Lindsey and I are praying for you and for your continued strength through this all. "The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18
ReplyDeleteJust another TU alum who is lifting you all up in prayer.
ReplyDeleteColleen and Cason-
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for your loss. You are definitely in my prayers, and in the prayers of my friends as well.
Stephanie (Isaacson) Taylor
Praying for you both.
ReplyDeleteSaw this through a mutual friend on Facebook and my heart breaks for you. You are in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteI feel like it's right for this boy to be with you. I just pray for a fresh infusion of hope, so that no matter what happens- strength, joy and understanding from the Lord remain. May God reveal to you what His thoughts are, and give you strength to partner with His plan in prayer, even if it seems crazy. I love your hearts. You are such a testimony of faithfulness to the Lord and such an inspiration in how you choose to love especially when it hurts. Wow. Bless you. Bless you abundantly more than you've ever dared to ask the Lord for.
ReplyDeleteheard about you guys via the Canadas - I have a heart for adoption and think that at some point my husband and i might adopt in the future...your story brought me to tears... i can't even begin to imagine the heartbreak you must be feeling...May the Lord's strength carry you through this one... that's a tough one to swallow but if any one can carry you through, as you know, it's Him! my thoughts and prayers are with you...
ReplyDeleteYou are held in deep prayer by your fellow community of Christians - may our Lord hold you up in this time of uncertainity and give you courage and hope in Him. As your heart breaks so do ours for you, as our Father in heaven weeps for all that His children must endure. God bless. and hugs from NC.
ReplyDeleteYou are being lifted up. I can only imagine the heartache of having my child taken from my arms. I pray that no matter the outcome, that this young man would see how much you love Asher and would allow you to be part of his little life. I pray that God would be glorified, and that you would have HIS strength today, and each day. I pray not only for the two of you, but for the birth family, and for your extended family. I pray that as those around you grieve with you, that they would remember that your pain is greater, and that they need to support you. I pray that you would find peace that only comes from Him, and that you would trust in our Soverign God even more than ever...even when it doesn't make sense to do so, and you must be questioning what He's doing. He's up to something. Write all that you feel down, and be honest with each other...then when God allows it, you will be able to see His hand all over this time in your life. But be honest with one another about how hard it is...and honest with Him. He loves you both, and he loves little Asher.
ReplyDeleteHeidi DeKorne emailed me a link to your blog and I am devastated with you. It's amazing how attached we can get after just six days. We've had two adoptions fall through, both after the baby was born, but we never even met either baby and we took it pretty hard. I can only imagine how you feel after naming, holding, caring and loving Asher. We went to Taylor too, but I don't think we know either one of you. I will probably be thinking and praying for you all day today (and for many months to come). I've always consoled myself with our adoptions and our failed adoptions that the Lord does whatever necessary to bring those to Him. So while this little boy would be in better hands with you, maybe the best way for him and his birth father and mother to come to Christ is by raising him. That has always been my prayer when our adoptions fall through. Our blog is www.ourlittlehope.blogspot.com. We've adopted two girls domestically in the past 3 years. Feel free to stop by, or not. We will keep praying.
ReplyDeleteBeen praying with you while I'm in Texas with the mostads.
ReplyDeleteI'm a friend of a friend and we lost our son in August due to a failed adoption. We just had him for two days, but our hearts were truly broken. No words can help the pain you are experiencing...it's raw, real, and never the way God intended things to be. Praying for you, your wife, and your little boy who will forever have your hearts....even though our stories are different, my heart aches for the pain you are both experiencing. While I haven't been in your shoes, my husband and I understand that grief in an all too real way. If either of you want talk, we are more than open to sharing our story and hearing yours....Jess.stemm@gmail.com. Your not alone...praying.
ReplyDeleteJess and Nate Stenn
Be confused, be hurt. Be emotionally spent. It's where you are, and there's no sin in it. Get to a place where you can get quiet before the Lord; where you can be still and know that He is God. You'll probably have to cry out and let out all your questions and frustrations first, maybe rampage around some. You probably won't get answers, not at this time, and it's not the time to try to make sense of this anyway.
ReplyDeleteSo cry out to your Father, do it, but be working toward that quiet place.
You are discouraged, or dis-couraged. Once in that quiet place, He will walk with you through His Word, which tells you to "LET your heart take courage" (Ps. 31:24 [NASB]). Odd phrasing: Why wouldn't I "let" my heart do that anyway?? Ah. Well, this verse was written to people who are asking that "Can I ever open myself up for this kind of disappointment again" question, and it leads you right back to taking a step of faith.
Which brings me to one more word of caution: in your pain and in your human need to know the end to your story, do not write it yourself. That takes you out of the economy of faith, and usually into despair - which always imagines a scenario without God in the picture, and often starts with "what if?' or "I guess I'll never...". What if we never have children? Stay on your side of the Father/Child relationship. You can't take up what only He can plan and bring forth.
Continuing to pray - Bev McBride
I'm so sorry. Praying for you as you grieve...
ReplyDeleteKnow this Holy Week that you have a God who also lost his Son this week. I truly pray that His comfort be yours. I'm so sorry beyond words, I can't even imagine. Prayers to you from Kansas City.
ReplyDeleteYou don't know me… just have a mutual FB friend that posted this on her page. After many years of loss and broken adoption matches, my husband and I are the parents of two sons through the miracle of adoption. The journey is challenging… the valleys are very, very, harsh. The mountaintops are splendid. As you both trudge through this harsh valley, I pray that God showers you with MERCY, GRACE, and PEACE as He carries you toward your mountaintop. No tears or broken hearts are left unredeemed by the precious blood of our Lord Jesus.
ReplyDeleteYou are being prayed for by MANY all over the world! I continue to see your story and request for prayer on your behalf popping up on numerous Facebook feeds.
ReplyDeleteI saw your blog through a friend who posted it on Facebook, and I am praying for you during this emotionally raw time. I am praying for that sweet baby boy, and I am praying for that young man who wants to raise this baby. May God give you strenth and peace as you move forward through this.
ReplyDeleteThis so so sad. I'm sorry that you are going through this and am praying for strength for you guys.
ReplyDelete