Call to Prayer

You may have seen from our last few posts on Facebook that our joy in adopting Asher has been devastated with difficult news and an uncertain future. Saturday evening we posted that Asher was officially ours, which, as far a we knew, was true. The only person who could circumvent our adoption was a birth father who didn't know his son existed... which is exactly what happened. We had been told that the birth father knew of his child, was not at all interested him, had moved to California, and changed his cell phone number.

However, it turns out the birth mother lied to everyone, including telling the father that she'd had a miscarriage back in October. Monday, after her rights had been terminated for almost 2 days, she was having second thoughts, so she contacted the father and told him he had a son.  He showed up in the NICU while Colleen was holding Asher, which was obviously unbelievably traumatic.   

Now our entire adoption hangs on what the probably overwhelmed 20 year old birth father wants to do.  The birth mother completely terminated her rights, and seemed so happy to give him up to us.  When she experienced some doubts, like most birth mothers do, she received counseling through the adoption agency from mothers who have given children up in the past.  We thought that things were okay, and were completely blindsided by this news.

The birth mother has no idea what she wants now, since she told the adoption agent that she doesn't want the father to have any rights over the child... that's probably why she lied to him in the first place.  But now that she's brought him into things, it is all his choice, and he can get sole custody, as long as he passes a paternity test and proves that he can provide for the child (apparently his mother would take care of Asher). 

Our adoption agent told us from the beginning, that in 20+ years of doing adoptions, she never had a birth father come back to claim his rights.  But honestly, based on text messages and what has been said so far, chances are very high that we will lose our son. 

So friends, this is a call to pray.  At 8:30am this morning, the birth parents are meeting with the adoption agency to discuss their options, and our son's future hangs in the balance.  It is hard to believe that there is so much turmoil in his little, 6 day old life, especially as we were stroking his soft hair last night.  We will be by his side again today, weeping, praying, and feeling helpless right along with him, as other people make decisions that will shape the rest of all of our lives. 

We believe in a God who can change hearts and minds, and who is sovereign over man.  We need Him to come to us in a big way.  Please pray for Godly wisdom for the adoption agents and social workers, for the emotionally unstable birth mother, for clarity of thought for a young birth father who just found out he has a son, and especially for a beautiful 6 day old boy... that all involved would have his best interest at heart and that the Lord's will would be done in his life. 

We are terrified, and feel like we are going through having our future and the child(ren) we love ripped away from us, just like a year and a half ago in Kenya with the triplets.  Please pray for us if the news isn't good... I don't think I can do this again... I can't watch another child taken away from my loving wife.  I believe that God can do miracles, but I also know that I've asked for them before in a very similar situation and had to return home without our children.

Thank you so much for your prayers.

Cason

Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. - Psalm 37:4

Out of the mouth of infants and nursing babes, you have established your strength. - Psalm 8:2 

What's in a name?

We've learned over the last two days that Asher loves to hold onto our fingers while he's sleeping... and we love it too!

For a few days last week I had been mulling over some thoughts for a blog post about how we'd announce our baby boy's name.  I had even typed out a few lines... and then Wednesday happened.  Our boy came 2+ months early and ours lives turned upside down with one phone call.  We had to have our name ready right away, so Asher Ramsay Wittig became known all over facebook and this blog.  Even though we had to scramble to get his name out, we still wanted to explain why we chose it.   

Not-so-happy Asher... the CPAP & tubes make his face swell which is uncomfortable

Asher is a name that we've liked for a while, but the Biblical meaning has taken on more significance for us over the last few months.  Asher was a son of Jacob who was born to a surrogate when Jacob's wife, Leah, couldn't bear him a child.  Leah named her adopted son Asher, because it is close to the Hebrew word for happiness.  When he was born, she said, "Happy am I!  For women have called me happy."  

We are so thankful that God has provided us with a child, because there have been times when it didn't seem like it would ever happen in the last few years.  If it is possible to love your child more just because of your life experiences, then I believe that I do.  Had we had a child a few years ago, we definitely would have loved him/her, but every moment with him has brought us so much more joy because of having to wait.

Also, Asher rhymes with Basher and Slasher... Masher... which I think is cool.  Hopefully he'll get some sweet nicknames out of it. 

Ramsay is Colleen's maiden name.  We are so excited for Asher to be a part of all of our families - Wittig, Ambrose, and Ramsay.  We didn't  like the alliteration of "Asher Ambrose," so that family name will have to wait to go to one of our future children, Lord willing.  We're so excited that Asher will have so many Ramsay cousins and second cousins close to his age, as well as Aunties and Uncles on both sides who are thrilled to welcome him into the family.  Our families have been incredibly giving and supportive through this whole process, and we can't express how much it means to us.

Also, Ramsay apparently means "from Ram's Island" or "wild garlic," so that's fun.  

Just two Wittig men holding hands

Asher was born a Wittig.  Like all Wittigs, little Asher will be cursed with having his name mispronounced and misspelled for the rest of his life.  Whitting?  Wittrig?  Whitig?  Widdic?  Sometimes I'm not sure I know how to pronounce it.  Asher better get used to spelling it out every time, just like the rest of us. 

In 4 years of having "Cason Wittig' announced over the loudspeaker when I played high school basketball, it was never pronounced correctly at a road game.  Not once.  I think the only person to ever actually pronounce Wittig correctly was my crazy German soccer coach who would scream "Vittig!" at 12-year-old me from the sidelines in between muttered German curse words.

Incidentally, Wittig comes from the German word for "wood" or possibly the word for "clever"... although I was told as a kid that it meant "little wooden head."  I couldn't find any evidence of the "little wooden head" meaning on the internet, but I'm going to pass that quirky interpretation on to Asher and the rest of my future children.

We're so happy that our son, Happiness Wild Garlic Little Wooden Head, has entered the world.  We love him so much already and are so thankful that he is in our life.  I can't wait for him to get some of those tubes off him... to hold him... and to have him come home with us someday soon!

Thanks for your prayers and support.

Cason

PS - We've been posting pictures and videos at facebook.com/casonwittig and facebook.com/colleenaiden, so friend us if you want to see more.  Thanks for reading the blog!

He's got Colleen's pinky with both little hands!

A Large Meatball Sub

My hand on my boy

Wow.  What a ridiculously crazy, wonderful day.

Proud momma

After arriving at the hospital yesterday, Colleen was back and forth between Asher and his birth mom all day, which was amazing.  My mom got to the hospital in the early afternoon and Colleen's parents arrived a few hours later.  Unfortunately, the grandparents couldn't go into the NICU to see their grandson, but we were able to show them many pictures and videos.  Colleen and all the parents spent many hours with the birth mom, just keeping her company and supporting her.  Please pray that we can become her family for the next few days, and even following weeks, since we will be in Cincinnati for at least a month while Asher is in the NICU.  She wants to have us around and we've had so much fun talking with her.  She seems very set on continuing her plan of giving Asher up to us, but she still has some time before it becomes official.  She's such a sweet girl and we're praying that we can show her lots of Christ's love in the coming weeks.  

I arrived at the hospital a little after 6pm, after finishing up at work and then frantically searching our house for everything on Colleen's list... apparently I need to do a better job learning where Colleen keeps her clothes and toiletries...  : )  Once at the hospital, I went straight into the NICU to see my son... and it was amazing.  He looked like a toy or a doll on display since he was cuddled up in the plastic incubator.  He has such a sweet little face.  I couldn't believe how small he was/is... his body is the size of a Chipotle burrito with a head and extremities.  I couldn't stop staring at him... it really was breathtaking.

Our little man

We were allowed to open up the little doors on the incubator to touch him, but I didn't want to very much... he was just so fragile, I didn't want to break him!  Also, I have notoriously cold hands, so he didn't seem to appreciate it too much when I touched his soft skin.  I tried to only touch his cute little diapered butt and hat-covered head, which seemed to work better.  Those moments first seeing him are ones that I will never forget.

Other than being born premature, Asher is healthy and doing well.  I feel so bad for him with tubes, monitors, and needles in this nose, mouth, hands, feet and side... but he is a trooper.  His weight was holding steady as of last night and only dropped a few ounces today, which is great.  His lungs are still a concern since he is so small, and apparently the next 48 hours or so are very important to his development, so we'd appreciate your continued prayers. I've been posting a few pictures and videos on facebook, so you can get to them at facebook.com/casonwittig if you're my facebook friend. 

*****

Asher's got some pipes, and he's not afraid to be heard!

Today (Thursday) we got to help change Asher's diaper and see him without his striped hat and CPAP.  His little face is so cute!... though all of the apparatus he's had on made him swollen in spots.  He has quite a bit of hair, but seems to have developed early male pattern baldness since there wasn't much on the front of his head.  Hopefully he'll gain some hair on top as I keep losing mine there!  He's quite a squirmy energetic little guy and DID NOT like having his CPAP put back in his nose.  They had to redo it 5-6 times because he kept knocking it out. That feisty-ness will serve him well on the soccer pitch in the 2032 World Cup...  We also learned his official birth stats were 2lbs 8.9oz and 13.25 inches long.  So essentially an extra large meatball sub.  

Right now, Colleen and I are just sitting by his incubator talking to each other and to him.  He's tried to open his eyes a few times, but seems to be sleeping now.  It is incredible just to watch his little back rise and fall with each breath... it seems like he is breathing quickly to me, but we're told he's in a good range.  Even though they have the CPAP on to help keep his lungs open, they switched him over to "normal" air as far as oxygen levels, which is another positive thing.  We have so much to be thankful for. 

*****

We have been overwhelmed by the support of our family, friends, and church via text, email, facebook, etc.  We are so grateful and blessed!  Many have been asking how they can help and about baby showers.  We dont' have many answers to those questions right now, but we'll put the info out there when we have it.  I thought we had until May/June, so we're definitely not as prepared as we'd like to have been!  Thanks again for keeping up with our lives, for your prayers, and your support.  

Cason (& Colleen)

PS - Been having trouble posting videos to the blog, so those will have to go up on facebook... just check facebook.com/casonwittig if you want to see them.  

One more for the Aunties... Whenever I almost don't post a picture, I just think about how Aunti Adrienne has been begging for more... so up they go. 

Asher Ramsay Wittig

As Colleen said in our last post, we are in the process of adopting.  I recently started a post with an update on the how the process is going and about how excited I am to be a dad.  However... what is it they say about the best laid plans of mice and men?... Ah, yes... they often go awry. 

Our birth mother's due date was supposed to be mid-June, so we thought we had plenty of time to get ready... However, this morning, Colleen received a tearful call from her  saying that she'd gone in last night to the emergency room in pain and had delivered through emergency C-section sometime early this morning. Colleen headed to the hospital in Cincinnati right away.  The social worker was able to go to the hospital and said that our baby boy was doing as well... he was 2 lbs 9 oz. They think the birth mother was about 27ish weeks along (her due date has been moved around 3 times in the last few weeks since they didn't know for sure), so he'll probably be in the NICU for many few weeks.


Both of the moms are heading to Cincinnati to be with Colleen and I will probably head up there later with an overnight bag once we know more. Our boy's name will be Asher Ramsay Wittig whenever we get to name him. Asher is Hebrew for happiness... which we definitely are, though my stronger emotion right now is feeling overwhelmed!  (This can't be happening, right?  Just last night I was working on applying for adoption grants and looking for a changing table on craigslist...)



This is the only picture I've seen of my son as well!

 Please pray for Asher's health. I've been told that now is a critical times for his lungs. Also for our sanity... we're obviously feeling unprepared and in over our heads at this point! The birth mother also needs our prayers, as she has had a stressful time and has many difficult emotional challenges to work through. We've met with her a few times, really appreciate her so much, and want to show Christ's love to her in this difficult time.

Thanks for your prayers! I'll try to write more when I can. Also, please don't call or text Colleen right now... you can text, facebook, or email me if you want. mailto:casonandcolleen@gmail.com or 317 883 7227)

Thanks!

- A very proud and overwhelmed daddy

Growing our Family!

Hi Friends & Family!  Cason is usually the one who writes our blog posts but I am blogging today to share some exciting news… Cason and I are adopting!  We are so thrilled to become parents and feel God has led us to this place in our lives.

We had always thought we would adopt internationally, but after talking with our local adoption agency and praying about it, we really felt that adopting a biracial or African American infant was right for us.  In the United States, there far more African American/biracial infants available than families willing to adopt them.  

After going through the home study process, we created a profile book that was shown to expecting mothers.  After just a few short weeks an incredible young woman from Cincinnati selected us – and she is due May 14^th!  The baby is perfectly healthy as far as we know and we have already had a meeting with the birth mother and social worker.  Over the next few months we will meet with her a few more times and then we will head to the hospital to take our baby home after it is born!  We are in the beginning stages of preparing a nursery and getting our house ready for a baby.  I cannot wait to become a mother!!  Here are our "before" nursery pics!

 

The last couple months living in Danville have been really wonderful for our spiritual growth and our marriage.  We have had so much fun together and feel like we are in a whole new phase of our lives.  Pursuing our desire to adopt has added to the joy God has given to us in the last few months.   We are getting more and more excited about the church we have joined and have been getting to know some great people.  Cason has even signed up to go on a soccer ministry trip to Haiti this fall!

God is really teaching us about His provision.  When Cason got a job in Danville, we had no idea that the town had a wonderful local adoption agency that helps facilitate and encourages adoptions, as well as over 600 adoptive families!  In addition to that, the Lord brought us to a wonderful church that advocates adoption and has multiple adoptive families that attendance.

After some months of wondering what we should be doing and seeking the Lord’s guidance, it is encouraging to see Him orchestrating our lives and bringing us specifically to where we are now!  We are so thankful! 

Please be praying as the process does have some unknowns.  The birth mother is allowed to change her mind up to 72 hours after the baby is born.  Please be praying that she remains strong in her decision to give her baby up and that she is confident in our abilities to parent.  Thank you all so much for your continued support and prayers!

~Colleen

Here's one more nursery prep picture!  

There were over 60 holes in the closet alone! That's a lot of spackling  in that room!! So there was a lot of sanding and we were both covered in spackling dust!

Happy Christmas/New Year/2012!

So friends, we’ve failed.  We had the best intentions of keeping up our blog, but we haven’t posted since April… and our last post was presented as “part 1 of 2.”  Not the best on our part.  

Quite a bit has happened since then, so we’ll give you a quick rundown of the highlights... and promise to post more often than every 9 months in the future.  Can’t believe it has been over a year since we were in Kenya!  

*****

After coming back from Kenya right before Christmas (2010), Colleen and I lived with her parents in Wooster, Ohio.  I continued to work for World Gospel Mission remotely as the treasurer for a few months while we settled back into life in the (cold!) US.  In March and April, we took some time to visit friends and family we hadn’t seen since before Kenya, and I started looking for jobs in central Kentucky and Savannah, Georgia.  Kentucky was always somewhere we viewed as a long term destination because of Colleen’s extended family, and Savannah was a dream of mine that we hoped might work out for a few years.  

We have lots of Kenyan decorations in our house

I had interviews in both locations, and came close to getting some jobs in Lexington, but kept getting bypassed for people with more experience.  It took quite a bit longer than I anticipated to find a job, and was scary/frustrating for a while.  

In August, I finally received a job offer for a position that matched my skills and motivations, however, not in Lexington like we had hoped.  On September 1st, we moved to Danville, Kentucky, about 35 miles south of Lexington, so I could start working as a financial analyst for Ephraim McDowell Regional Medical Center.  It is/was such a blessing to find work, and have our own place again.  

We have liked Danville more than we thought we would.  We are renting a cute little house just outside downtown, so my commute is only 5 minutes or so.  There is a prestigious liberal arts college in town, so it has great restaurants and places to go, along with many festivals and events.  

Colleen's tortoises

Colleen started volunteering at the local humane society almost immediately, so we’ve fostered 11 kittens in our home in the short time we’ve been in Danville.  She’s also been collecting a few animals in anticipation of starting a wildlife education business (similar to what she did in Indianapolis) sometime in the future... we we currently have 3 tortoises who live in our garage, 2 leopard geckos, and a bearded dragon to go along with the constant parade of foster kittens in the house.  It’s a bit of a zoo, but we love (or sometimes tolerate...) it!  I’ve also enjoyed playing indoor soccer in Lexington and I hope to find somewhere to play basketball soon... got to stay in shape as I head into my late twenties!

We have been looking for a church family, but recently decided that we are going to try to get involved at a local Presbyterian church.  It seems to be a congregation that is very service and “others” focused, so we’re excited to be a part of that and find ways to serve the Lord in community.  

We love Kentucky in the fall!

One great things about being in Danville is being close to family.  Berea, where both sides of Colleen’s extended family are centered, is just 40 minutes east of us.  It has been so much fun to be around for Thanksgiving and other family get-togethers!  We had both Wittig and Ramsay family Christmases at our house on back to back weekends, and we also were able to participate in Ramsay/Ambrose family events during the holidays as well.  

So that was pretty easy!  A year of our life in a few short paragraphs!

*****

Those who have kept up with us or followed our blog while we were in Kenya know that we tried to adopt triplets from the Baby Centre last August/September (2010), but the adoption fell through when it was discovered that the triplets had family members who wanted them.  

This past August (2011), we got news that the triplets had finally gone home with their family from the Baby Centre.  We were concerned about the situation they would be going into, but the family members seemed genuinely happy about having the kids.  It was incredibly hard to know we couldn’t get regular updates on them, but we were hopeful their situation would be better than what we had originally anticipated.  We have continued to think about them often and lift them up in prayer.

Recently, we received an update from another missionary family who went to visit the triplets’ family, and the report on their situation was rather discouraging.  

My natural response was to get angry at God and the whole situation... to start asking “why” again.  But the one thing I’ve learned the last 12+ months is that while getting upset and demanding answers may feel empowering temporarily, but it doesn’t really accomplish anything.  Same with expecting things to be rational or fair - all it does is lead to bitterness.  Our experience with the triplets hasn’t damaged our faith in the Lord, but it has caused us to consider how He interacts in our lives - and how we interpret it.  We were so sure about His leading before - that we were supposed to adopt them and stay in Kenya - that it has been difficult to be confident in our understanding of His will since.  All we can do is pray for those beautiful children and trust our Heavenly Father to take care of them.  If you think about it, we’d really appreciate your prayers for the triplets, and for us.  

Still love these kids!

*****

We’ve obviously been ready to have children for quite while, but for various reasons, we haven’t been able to have a family yet.  We are so happy for our friends and family who have been able to have children, but is has been bittersweet to see others grow their families in the time that we’ve been trying to adopt/get pregnant.  Again, it’s hard not to keep questioning and asking “why.”  

Though we don’t understand, and may never, we are trying to trust God’s perfect plan and timing.  Knowing He has a plan for us is the ultimate comfort in the tumultuous busyness and uncertainty of life.  We appreciate your prayers as we continue to journey with the Lord and try to keep on the path laid out for us.  

This year has taught me that things don’t have to make sense for me to put my faith in God... that’s what faith is, I guess.  I think both of us were excited to be moving on with our lives, but the news about the triplets brought back all those feelings of frustration and doubt.  But it also reminded us to be praying for them more, and that our joy should come from the Lord, no matter the circumstances.   

*****

Before we went to Kenya, we knew that going to the mission field was the right path for us; it was so clear in our spirits.  Even though going to Kenya was a sacrifice - possibly in terms of having a family, saving money, buying a house, and advancing our careers - we know in our hearts that serving there is what we were supposed to do.  We made many great friends, had incredible experiences, and deepened our relationship with God and with each other.  We think about Kenya often, and would love if the Lord would lead us back there at some point on our journey.  

However, since we came back from Kenya, nothing has seemed quite as clear, but we continue to trust that the Lord has a plan for us.  We feel a bit like the Israelites, wandering in the desert before they finally got to enter the promised land. God is more than providing for us, just like He did for His chosen people, but He made them wait for years while He molded their hearts to be ready to enter the land of their destiny.  Faith and trust in His timing were key for the Israelites, just as they are for us now.  

Though it is a temptation, the fact that we feel a bit like we’re in “the desert” of our journey isn’t an excuse for being complacent.  We are excited about seeking opportunities to minister at our new church, and seeing what God has for us as we learn to walk with Him everyday.  

*****

Thanks so much for taking the time to read our blog.  If you’re ever in Central Kentucky, please look us up!

- Cason

The Ramsay family from this past summer

Mom and Dad Wittig goofing off at Christmas at our house

Cason's sister, Corinn, and her boyfriend, Caleb, at Christmas

Colleen with our beautiful niece, Rose

Kentucky summer evening

 

Another one of Rose... we love her!

We had to get our belongings from 3 different states before moving to Kentucky

In September, my incredible 92 year old Nana went to be with the Lord.
We miss her, but we're glad she's home!