What’s in a name?: Acacia Grace edition

All 4 of us! Cacia was being a little shy

As someone who tends to be cynical and pessimistic at times (my wife says “Ha!” to “at times”), Acacia’s adoption has been incredible so far. To date, it has gone so smoothly, quickly, and easily, that I honestly haven’t been able to enjoy it as much as I should because I keep thinking something is about to go wrong. We have been so blessed by so many different circumstances and people, it truly is overwhelming.

Naptime with Grandma Ramsay

Since Acacia was discharged from the hospital on Friday, we’ve been staying at a hotel in Cincinnati with many family members coming to visit or staying with us. Yesterday afternoon, the birth mother signed her permanent surrender document, and we filled out all necessary paperwork to become Cacia’s guardians. It has been a blissful weekend celebrating and loving on our new babygirl with our families, and we are sad to see them all heading back home after such a wonderful week. I'm leaving tonight so I can go back to work tomorrow, and everyone else except for Colleen’s mom has already left. Colleen, Cashel, and Acacia have to stay in Ohio until both Ohio and Kentucky approves the guardianship, so we’re praying that process goes quickly, so they can all come home by Wednesday or so. Thankfully Colleen will have help from both of our mothers during the week as she gets used to being a mother to two!

So basically, Acacia isn’t official ours yet, and as we’ve learned, you never know what might happen, but we’re past the major hurdles and are trusting that she’s well on her way to becoming a Wittig!

Miss Acacia with Bibi and Babu Wittig

Speaking of becoming a Wittig, it has become somewhat of a tradition to write about the name we pick for our children, since we did so for Asher/Jayson (our failed adoption) and Cashel. We often get questions about what Cashel’s name means or where we got it, just like we have for Acacia in the few days she’s been alive, so we feel that it is important to write out why we choose a specific name and what significance it has to us. 

Without further ado, Miss Acacia Grace Wittig:

We like the sound of Acacia (pronounced a-KAY-shah), and particularly the nickname Cacia (KAY-shah), which we think we’ll call her most of the time. Apparently, we are partial to soothing, “sshhhhhh” - sounds. We will probably get tongue-tied by having a “Cashel” and “Cacia” less than 18 months apart in the same house, but our own moms have called us our siblings’ names (and even the dog’s) before, so the tongue-tied-ness probably would have happened regardless of the similarity.

“Wait, you named your daughter after a tree?”

“Well, yea… kinda.”

Acacia trees grow in warm climates all over the world, particularly in Australia, but the type that we are most familiar with is the thorny flat-top tree found in sub-saharan Africa. During our time living in Kenya in 2009-2010, we loved to go on safari in the Masai Mara, and the amazing expanse was dotted with beautiful acacias. Some of my favorite memories are watching the sun rise over the savannah on a few brisk African mornings, with acacia trees and gazelle all around, and warm hot chocolate in my hands.

Acacia wood is gorgeous, and was specifically cited by God for Moses to use to build the Ark of the Covenant, as well as the first Tabernacle, and many other alters to the Lord. In addition to the tree and the wood, acacia is also a word of greek lineage that means honorable, guileless and genuine. I particularly like this meaning of genuine-ness or authenticity, because I feel that I struggle with being that way in my own life and walk with the Lord. I pray that our babygirl will able to be honorable and genuine in the way she loves and interacts with others, as well as in her pursuit of God.

I mentioned before that we think we’ll call Acacia “Cacia” most of the time (though so far I’ve stuck pretty much explusively to “Babygirl” and “Squeaker” - we’ll see if either of those stick). Like Cashel, the name Cacia has Irish heritage, meaning vigilant; Colleen’s Ambrose side of the family is from Ireland, and Colleen and I started dating while studying abroad on the Emerald Isle 10 years ago this fall, so it has a special place in our hearts.

And finally, we have a lovely friend from college who goes by Kacia (same pronunciation), which is a name I’ve always liked since I met her in Bib Lit I over 10 years ago. (Hi Kacia!)

Colleen is going to take over for the Grace portion of this post (which is appropriate for our personalities… Cason = thorny tree, Colleen = lovely, gracious):

Proud Momma

“Grace is the name of my Great Great Aunt on the Ramsay (my dad’s side) of the family. We grew up hearing stories about her and her husband’s mission work and her faith, strength, and peace. 

She was a missionary in China with her husband for many years until Japan attacked China during WWII. They then moved to the Philippines to continue mission work, but while there, Japan attacked Pearl Harbor and much of the Pacific, so the area where they were living was taken over. Both Grace and her husband Fred were imprisoned by the Japanese in an internment camp for almost 3 years in the Philippines. When they were finally rescued by American forces, Grace’s brother was a medic in the troop that found them; Grace and Fred were almost unrecognizable from starvation, but her brother was able to slowly nurse them back to health. They returned to the US to recover, but continued to minister and to share their faith in God. Grace did return to China a few times throughout her life, always in a ministry capacity, and her life is a testimony of dedicated of service to Jesus Christ.

I was blessed to meet Great Great Aunt Grace when I was young, and everyone who spent time with her talked about her aura of strength and peace.  She was a beautiful person, and is a wonderful example and namesake for our sweet Acacia Grace.

Grace also has obvious spiritual meaning to us, and is even the name of our home church that we love so much. As it says in Ephesians, God’s grace towards us is what saves us from ourselves, and there is nothing that we can do to add or subtract from the gift of grace He offers us. We are so blessed by Acacia Grace, and will pray daily that she finds the Lord and lives a life full of the pursuit of His kingdom like her namesake.”

Back to Cason now… I’ve written before some of the ridiculous things about the last name Wittig, so you can just scroll down to the Wittig section this link for that blurb. In summary, no one ever pronounces it correctly, and it may mean "little wooden head" in German. But one great thing about Wittigs: We love ice cream.

*****

Curly hair kiddos with Aunti Adri

Thanks so much for reading our blog and communicating your support via text, Facebook, etc. We really have been overwhelmed by all the love showered our way. A few people have asked how they can help or what we need, and the truth is, we have most of the baby essentials thanks to the generosity of family and friends, but there are a few things on Acacia’s Amazon registry if you’re interested. 

Also, even though we’ve already been unbelievably blessed by our church and others in this regard, adoption is expensive. If you're is interested in helping with expenses of bringing Miss Acacia home it would be greatly appreciated. 

Personal gifts are fine (checks, cash, or even Paypal or Chase QuickPay, both under casonwittig@gmail.com). However, if you’d like a tax deductible receipt for your gift, our church has graciously agreed to accept money on our behalf through their adoption fund. You can make checks out to “Grace PCA,” with “Adoption Fund” in the memo line, but please send them to us or give them to one of our family members since we’ve been asked to collect them and not have them sent directly to the church.

Thanks again for reading! Let me know if you have any question about giving towards Acacia’s adoption, if you are so inclined.

One Proud Daddy,

Cason

For those having a little trouble, here's Big Bro Cashel practicing how to pronounce Acacia's name the week before she was born:

Outtake where Cashel demonstrates some not-so-ideal techniques for rocking a baby:

Grandpa and Aunti Adri

Wittigs all around

We have a baby girl!

A new little bundle

Colleen last posted on our blog some thoughts she’d been having about adoption because of situations our friends are going through and also because were were starting the adoption process again. Our plan (which, we should have learned by now, never work out like we expect) was to finish our home study early in 2014 with the thought that we would be matched with a child in the summer or fall - sometime around  Cashel’s 2nd birthday in August/September. It seems that families who already have children can be bypassed by birth mothers who prefer their children to go to parents who don’t have kids yet, so were expecting to have to wait longer before we were matched.

Well, the same week our home study was completed, our profile book was shown to a birth mother who was already 8 months pregnant, and incredibly, she picked us. It was far from a sure thing, since we were matched so late in the game and didn’t know anything about her, but nevertheless we scrambled to get as ready as quickly as we could.

We got a few updates along the way, and actually thought the baby might be born the first weekend in February, but it all started happening when the birth mother was induced yesterday morning. Less than a month after we were matched, we were headed back to Cincinnati to meet our baby girl! We actually stopped at Colleen’s Aunt Neena’s in Northern Kentucky to await updates on the birth status, but by the time we got the call that the Cacia was on her way, things went extremely quickly - she was born while we were in transit to the hospital! Thankfully, we didn’t have to wait long to meet her, and we’ve been in the land of blissful babyness ever since.

Things are going very smoothly so far, but as we well know from past experiences, this adoption is still in process and unforeseen complications could arise. We’d really appreciate your prayers for us, our baby girl, and the birth mother, especially for the next few days as documents are signed and things are finalized.

But even knowing that things could be disrupted, we’re stepping out in faith to introduce Acacia Grace Wittig. We’re so blessed to be her parents, and are praying that everything goes smoothly so we can continue to be for a long, long time.

Bibi loves Cacia!

She has a gorgeous head of curly black hair, and has been chill and content these 24 hours or so we’ve been with her. Colleen commented that she definitely makes more delicate and feminine noises compared to her big bro Cashel. She’s already got to meet her Bibi (Cason’s mom) and Aunt Neena, and tomorrow she’ll meet her big brother, Grandma, Aunti Adri, followed by Grandpas and many others this weekend. So many people love her!

She’s so precious, and it is such a joy to cuddle and talk to her as she looks around her new world with gorgeous dark brown eyes. It’s hard to believe that how quickly she’ll grow up, and that just 18 months ago we were in this same place with Cashel, her wildman big brother!

We are so incredibly blessed by the love and support of our friends, family, and church. Without that, we definitely wouldn’t be in a position to adopt again and welcome this beautiful child into our home, so we are eternally indebted and grateful for how we’ve been showered with love and blessings. We also are so thankful for our adoption agency, and particularly the woman who has lovingly guided us on this journey 3 times in the last 2 years - she is truly a godsend.

I’ll blog again soon with more details on her and an update on how we’re doing. Thanks for reading!

-Cason

Dad beard & Baby curls

Meeting Aunt Neena

Hello world! See you all soon!

Adoption Thoughts

Thanks Brian for the family pic!

 I’ve been thinking about adoption almost constantly these days.  As Cason and I start the adoption process again, and as friends around us are in varying stages of adoption or pregnancy, it has been in the forefront of my mind like it hasn’t been since before Cashel was born.  Recently a friend of mine experienced a failed adoption and called to share her loss with me. I was struck by what a unique experience adoption is. Both the pain and the joy are unique. As my friend spoke about grieving over the child she had lost, yet had never met, I couldn’t help but feel excited for the incredible joy she and her husband will get to experience down the road when they do get a baby. Many people might not understand how losing a child who was never seen nor met could be so traumatic, but they haven’t experienced the constant stress and wondering and struggle of adoption. It can be horrible, and yet, once you have a child, the struggle and pain of loss is replaced. It’s not gone, but it definitely is redeemed. The whole thing is constantly exhausting or exhilarating, and sometimes both at once.

Adoption is Broken

Adoption can be so hard, and so painful… and yet I love it… and I mean LOVE it!  There are several reason why people adopt. Some do so because they feel compelled or called to do so (whether they are able to have biological children or not), but many people who pursue adoption do so because they are unable to get pregnant.  The latter set of parents are typically already entering adoption with pain and trauma.  The loneliness that comes from trying and trying to have a family, while it seems everyone around you is getting pregnant, having kids, and expanding their own families… you feel broken, or that God is angry with you and trying to teach you a lesson.  He isn’t, just for the record, but that is something that I believed for a long time.

Cason and I talked about wanting to adopt long before we were married, but we also wanted to have biological children. What we didn’t know then is that we would struggle to get pregnant and that adoption would (for now) be our only way to have a family.

I don’t think God’s perfect, original plan for humanity involved adoption. Without sin, all babies would be welcomed into the world by two loving, biological parents, and there would be no need for adoptive families. Though pregnancy and biological child-rearing has it’s own set of potential trauma and issues, it at least potentially begins from a place of God’s plan for the family. Adoption is only possible because of sin and brokenness. Children are available to be adopted because someone was impoverished, too young, raped, deemed unfit to raise a child because of drugs, violence etc, or perhaps the parents have died. Regardless of how the child came to be, these circumstances make adoption very messy. It requires adoptive parents (who have possibly been through years of infertility or other struggles) to trust a birth mother, agency, system, or foreign government that is entirely outside of their control, and is tainted by complex circumstances. This is a recipe for pain, lies, more sin, distrust, fear and loss.  

Our History

When we lived in Kenya, we tried to adopt 1 year old triplets who we loved dearly from the orphanage where Colleen worked. We had a lawyer and were making plans to stay in Kenya… it’s a long story that I won’t recount here, but things ended abruptly, in heartache, and with an uncertain future for us and the triplets.

Once back in the US, we were selected by a birthmother who we met with multiples times, and with whom we had a good relationship. She delivered prematurely, and we were with our son in the NICU for eight days before we discovered that the birth mother had lied to us and the birth father, and that he did want to raise his child. Our son was taken from us, and again we were left childless.

Fear and Waiting

By the time we were matched with Cashel’s birthmother, I was at the end of my emotional rope. We had been ready/trying to have children for about 3 years, and had been through the two failed adoptions mentioned previously, losing 4 children that we had thought would be ours. I remember physically shaking when my phone would ring with a call from the adoption agency, since I would get a rush of fear and panic every time.

We had multiple friends and family discover they were pregnant and have babies in this time, and we also had a couple friends who were adopting and brought their new children home. We tried to be joyful and celebrate with them, and we were genuinely happy for them, but it was difficult. The “why me” or “why not me” questions slip so easily into your head, it can be paralyzing. I felt like I was constantly being reminded that I did not have a child, and the worst part was the constant state of not knowing. I was trying to trust that the Lord is good, that He knows my pain, that He loves me and has a plan for me that will glorify Him, but I struggled believing it.

Cashel’s due date was moved many times, and we hadn’t heard anything for weeks right before he was born and feared that his mother had given birth, decided to keep him, and not told the agency. We closed on our first house, and started to move in - I actually unpacked the “baby bag” that I had ready, and remember thinking “It’s been almost three months, so it’s not going to happen in the next few days. I’ll repack once we move.” Of course, we got the call in the midst of moving, and I had to frantically dig through boxes trying to find the baby supplies and my clothes to wear. We waited and waited and waited (with some heartbreak thrown in), and then in an instant, beautiful chaos reigned and we were going to get our son.

I share what we went through, not for pity or condolence, but to express the toll it can take, and to encourage those in the midst of waiting-and-wondering right now, how wonderful it can be in the end.

Redemption

After the struggle and the unknown, adoption can be a beautiful redemption of hurt, loss, and painful circumstances for all parties - for the child to have loving parents, for a mom and dad to have a son or daughter to call their own and for a birthmother to rest in the knowledge that her child is in a stable and loving home. It mirrors spiritual adoption into the body of Christ.  

The day Cashel legally became our son, I experienced heavenly joy.  A joy that came out of years of struggling and brokenness; joy that must be a foretaste of heaven. I remember when the judge announced that he was OUR SON, thinking that there should be fanfare, singing, trumpets, dancing, or something! In fact when we got home we had a dance party our family and friends in celebration! That joy is something that I might not have fully realized had I not first gone through the hardships of loss and waiting.

Adoption is a glimpse inside our own salvation. We are sinful, broken, and a mess… We are the prodigal son. God is waiting to joyfully adopt us into His family! When we are adopted as His children, there is dancing, singing, and trumpets. The celebration that occurs at our salvation is pictured so beautifully in earthly adoption. I, like Cashel, am in desperate need of a father; I’m in need of redemption from my brokenness and adoption into the family of Christ.

That is why adoption is beautiful to me, even though it has caused me incredible pain and left me questioning so much about myself and what I believe. I would go through that struggle again and again to adopt a child. I love Cashel more than I thought possible. There is a level of thankfulness and joy that I don’t think that I would have had if we didn’t go through all that we did. Even on the hard days of parenting, I am full of love for my son and am so proud of him. I am so blessed by God to have Cashel; he is the perfect child for our family, because God lead us to him and chose us to be his parents. It wasn’t easy, but we are thankful for the precious baby (though not so much a baby anymore!) that God placed in our arms.

Those reading this that are in the waiting stage of adoption, I want to encourage you… It gets so much better! The pain and frustration now makes the joy you will experience SO wonderful, because we can see in it the joy of salvation. We lost four children. We still miss them, we still pray for them, we still love them… BUT when our adoption was complete, I could look back and say that I would do all that again in a heartbeat. God used that weakness and struggle to draw us close and to teach us to Trust in who HE is. He used that experience to expose lies and doubts in my own faith; it was painful, and working through it came slowly, but without those experiences, I would not have known what it means to have my faith truly tested - to trust God and His strength in my weakness and at my most vulnerable.  

I waited patiently for the Lord; 

He turned to me and heard my cry.

He lifted me out of the slimy pit, 

out of the mud and mire;

he set my feet on a rock

and gave me a firm place to stand.

He put a new song in my mouth, 

a hymn of praise to our God.

Many will see and fear the Lord

and put their trust in him.

-Psalm 40:1-3

I remember a time when only the beginning of this scripture rang true - only the section about needing to be rescued from the pit. I would skip the rest, because I couldn't relate or couldn't believe it. Now I understand. He has put a NEW song in my mouth, one full of joy and praise. I have see the Lord and put my trust in Him.

Thanks for reading. Love, Colleen

Here's some fun videos from December to show how amazingly blessed our lives are!:

Dance Party of Christmas Day

Running with Grandpa

Hanging out with Bibi and Babu in Charleston

"Sleeping game" with Grandpa and cousins

Cheesy smile outtake

Long Overdue

Wow. We’re the worst. I had every intention of keeping this site updated with monthly-ish posts, but it has been 6 months since we last blogged. I can’t believe it! Actually, I can believe it, but I do wish we’d make more time. Having a new house and baby definitely makes finding time more difficult! Anyway, here’s a brief recap of the last few months with lots of Cashel pictures: 

Our happy boy

Cashel is pretty much a little boy now, which is crazy. If you follow us on Facebook or Instagram, you’ll know that he is the world’s happiest, and possibly most photographed, little guy. We love him so much and it has been a privilege to parent him together. It has been so much fun to watch him grow up, develop a personalty, and become more mobile and independent. Colleen sometimes bemoans all this, asking "What happened to my little baby boy?!?!", but for the most part we are loving having an almost-toddler. 

Cashy started crawling around 8 months old, at the end of April, and his (and our!) world changed almost instantly. He went from a calm baby who loved just to chill, and who loved nothing more than to sit and watch us, to a boy who is curious about, and into, everything. He loves to bang doors, climb up the stairs, try to share Indy’s food, stalk the cat that we are babysitting, and bee-line for the refrigerator whenever it is open. 

Cashy loves acrobatics!

He is hilarious, and we all laugh all the time. One of his favorite things in the world, behind spaghetti, pickles, strawberries, our dog Indy, and bottom-dropping his parents as they try to sleep-in, is being tossed and spun in all directions. I’d definitely be a bit woozy being swung around by my feet, but he is mostly fearless and is shaping up to be a little daredevil.

We’re trying to teach him sign language to communicate, and so far his only consistent sign is “more,” which he uses almost exclusively for food and acrobatics. However, this past Saturday I was gone all day at a soccer coach training, so I called Colleen and she put me on speaker phone. Cashel ambled over, looked behind the phone to see if I was hiding there, then starting signing “more”... “more Daddy.” Man, I love that kid. 

Cashel loves his momma

Cashel loves his family, and typically gets out-of-control excited whenever we video chat with either set of Grandparents or one of his Aunties. We’ve been fortunate to have lots of family and friends come visit, and we’re glad that Cashel is such a social person... though sometimes it can be difficult since he doesn’t like to go to bed when things are going on and his “audience” is still available. 

He loves to give wet, opened mouth, tongue-out kisses, and will mostly do so upon request. 

The last week of May, all 3 of the Ramsay kids & spouses & kids & dogs headed home to Wooster to spend a week at John and Eileen’s recently renovated old family farmhouse. There were 8 adults, 3 kids, and 3 dogs all under one roof, and though it was hectic at times - nay, possibly because it was hectic - we had a blast. It was the perfect year for a “staycation,” especially for “the boys,” who were 9 and 10 months then, since they wore each other out speed-crawling from room to room and (of course) always wanting the toy that the other one was playing with.

The Ramsay Family

Curly Boys: Cashel and his cousin, Graham

Mr. Curious chasing the chickens around the yard

In non-Cashel related news, we’ve been enjoying our house and have kept busy fixing it up as much as possible. This spring we’ve focused the work on the backyard, where I’ve built raised beds and other gardening apparatus, added a privacy fence, built a chicken coop out of old pallets to house our 5 chickens, built a bench out of old fence panels, and a few other things. It has been so much fun to work on a place that feels permanent, but the never-ending list of projects takes up time and money. We’re finally feeling like we’re to the place that we can comfortably enjoy our backyard, so we enjoy most evenings sitting out in the shade, usually grilling dinner and getting what we can out of our own garden, while Cashel plays in (i.e. tries to eat) grass and our plethora of animals roam. Not much to complain about. 

I also coached a club girls soccer team again this spring, and will be an assistant high school girls coach this fall. Coaching is a big time commitment, but I very much enjoyed it. I’m looking forward to a few years down the road when I can start to coach Cashel and his friends just like my dad coached me!

Cashel and his buddy, Keagan

We love our church, especially the other young families there. Cashel’s got lots of buddies in the nursery already, and we’re so thankful that he will grow up with a great group of friends. Our small group went through a parenting book this spring, which was very pertinent for us. It was wonderful to candidly discuss parenting decisions and issues with friends as we were learning how to parents a little guy rapidly maturing into a toddler. 

// Reflection // 

Mother's Day 2013

A year-ish ago, the Mother’s Day / vacation / Father’s Day season was one of the more miserable of our lives. We were just a few months removed from having a child taken away from us after caring for him for 8 days, and happy families seemed to be everywhere we went. We enjoyed time with friends and family, sure, but it was extremely difficult to not be selfish and have those moments tainted with bitterness. We still don’t understand why we've had children “taken” away from us on more than one occasion, but we are so thankful that Cashel is in our lives. It just feels so right, like we’ve always known that he was coming. We feel blessed. That’s not to say that things wouldn’t have worked out with other kids - I have no doubt they would have - but for whatever reason, Cashel was brought into our lives as our first-born, and we are extremely thankful to call him our son. Getting to celebrate our first Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, as well as to take him on family vacation, were some of the happiest moments of our lives. 

We are hoping to have more children soon, both biologically (if it is possible for us), and also via adoption. So we’d appreciate prayers for wisdom as far as how much we should try to get pregnant verses seeking to adopt again. One thing is for certain: Cashel loves other kids and needs some siblings to play with and to steal some of the limelight away from him! 

I'll be sure and try to update in sooner than 6 months! Thanks, as always, for reading. 

Cason

Brown eyes

Peak-a-boo with mommy over daddy's shoulder

We love to fly!

Getting kisses...

... and giving sloppy ones back

Fly, fly away

Happy with Bibi and Aunti Corinn

Wittig family pictures from Christmas

Bibi and Cashy in hoods

He loves mealtime

Curious about the tortoises

More to come soon!